Portions plagiarized from “The Rules for the South”.

1. Pull your droopy pants up. You look like an idiot.

2. Turn your cap right, your head isn’t crooked.

3. Let’s get this straight; it’s called a “Gravel Road”, its smoother than your paved roads.  I drive a pickup truck because I want to.  No matter how slow you drive, you’re going to get dust on your Lexus. Drive it or get out of the way.

4. They are called cattle. That’s why they smell to you.  They smell like money to us.  Get over it.  Don’t like it?  I-90 will take you to Minnesota.

5. So you have a $60,000 car.  We’re impressed.  We have $250,000 Combines that we use six weeks a year.

6. Every person around here waves AND they use all five fingers.  It’s called being friendly.  Try to understand the concept.

7. The “Opener” refers to the first day of Pheasant season.  It’s a religious holiday held the third Saturday of October.

8. We open doors for women.  That is applied to all women, regardless of age.

9. No, there’s no “vegetarian special” on the menu.  Order steak… we know how to grow it here, you’ll like it. You really want Sushi & Caviar?  Better check the bait shop.

10. When we set a table, there are three main dishes: meats, vegetables, and breads. We have healthy food for healthy people. We grow it here and we eat it here.  The left overs we sell to you.

11. You bring “coke” into my house, it better be brown, wet and served over ice. You bring “Mary Jane” into my house, she better be cute, know how to shoot and drive a tractor.

12. College and High School Football is more important here than the Lakers and the Jets, and much more fun to watch.

13. Colleges? We have several of them. We have State Universities, Private Universities, even a School of Mines.  Folks graduate with a good education plus a love for God and Country, and they still wave at everybody when they come home for the holidays.

14. We have more folks in the Army, Navy, Air Force, and Marines.  South Dakota has more Reserves per capita than any other state, we have had more of our sons and daughters in harms way as well.  Don’t even think about showing disrespect for our military here.

15. The speed limit is 75 on the Interstate, 70 on four lanes, 65 on two lanes and 55 on gravel.  If you can’t handle it, take I-90 east.  They’re slower in Minnesota.

Published in: on December 29, 2007 at 8:50 am  Comments (2)  

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2 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. I have just checked the box that says I have read and will comply with the above…. 🙂

  2. I chuckled a number of time, Rick. Good stuff! Thanks for posting.

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