Remember last year?

I distinctly remember this first day of February last year. It was in the middle of my “winter of discontent”. The temperature on the High Plains went below zero just before Christmas and when we got tired of that, it got colder.

January seemed to never end. It continued, day after miserable cold day, while our weathermen and women kept talking about the Polar Vortex. This was was the first time the furnace could not keep up. On many days I had roaring fire in the wood stove and the furnace on just to stay “room temperature”. I remember distinctly posting on Facebook, “Aren’t you glad there is no such thing as January thirty second?”

January last year set records for cold all over North America, Europe and the northern tier of Russia. There were natural gas shortages in Europe as well as propane shortages in the US Midwest. There were stories of Orange crop failure from ice as far south as central Florida.

Yes, we were all glad to see January of 2014 come to an end. There was an end to the misery on the horizon. Little did we know this Polar pattern would last four more long months into mid May.

Oh, wait a minute… Our President said in his speech that last year was the warmest on record. I must be wrong. I must have dreamed it. I must have imagined writing that check to my plumber for the repair of frozen pipes. How can this be? How can I be so wrong? My President wouldn’t lie to me. He, after all, is smarter than I am. I have to be mistaken. He must be right, He’s our President. He is the smartest president in decades.

I can only conclude that the proper scientific method is to ignore the highly accurate satellite temperature measuring data, then cherry pick ground sites with dubious reliability and jink those numbers to get a rise of .02 degrees (inside the margin of error of .1 degrees) and therefore conclude that the year that held “the winter of my discontent” and the summer that was too cool for swimming was, in fact, the warmest year on record.

If I did those kind of calculations with my bank account I’d be in jail.